An FYI to Drive By Assholes on HN

I have a notification in my email that someone on HN replied to this comment of mine by quoting portions of it and then saying:

Modesty is a virtue for all people, not just women. I don't know how you got the opposite impression.
I had popped in to the discussion after seeing this comment:

I'll take that bet. I know several excellent women who program. Some of them in their 50's. They'd probably outclass the vast majority of the hacker wanna-be's but they have one aspect that is totally different from their male counterparts: they try very hard not to attract attention and to let on how good they are whereas any male who can hold a keyboard is off to the races bragging about their mad skills. There just seems to be much less ego involved.

I upvoted it, but did not engage it. I somewhat often upvote the comments of this particular poster, but engaging him is a waste of my time. He gets spastic for unfathomable reasons any time he tries to talk to me, a thing he doesn't typically do to other people, but he has some personal issue with me (which is possibly rooted in disinformation, according to his most recent ridiculous accusations).

But, I felt that as the highest ranked woman there it would be appropriate to chime in elsewhere in the discussion and testify as a woman as to the reasons why I think women come across as so much more humble. I don't think it is just that women have less ego. I think there is enormous social pressure involved in this outcome, and I think this situation is also quite harmful to the careers of women.

I end up feeling like the key is in the safe. Women cannot get public recognition from the powers that be who are mostly male. Then, if they try to toot their own horn, it is decried as bragging, egomaniacal, etc. Men are not in this double bind. They have much more access to public recognition while also being much freer to own their competence and tell you they are good at X.

So, my comment was not about me being an egomaniac. My point was "Yeah, this thing this other member is saying -- there is a reason women come across more humbly, and I don't believe it is just that women are wired differently." I see no reason whatsoever why that point should get shit all over by someone accusing me of lacking some virtue.

The hostile reply to me was deleted by the person who posted it. I don't know why. I didn't see it live. I was offline when the comment was made and I only know about it because I get email notifications. So I have no idea if it was getting downvoted or flagged. I just know it was posted and then deleted.

This is not the first time that someone said something ugly to me and then deleted the comment before I could see it on HN, yet I knew about it anyway because I get email notifications. The fact that I get email notifications is no secret, so I have wondered if the point is to attack me kind of privately or secretly, then get rid of the evidence on the forum in order to cover their own ass.

So, for you assholes who think crapping on people is totes cool and maybe think that deleting your shitty behavior leaves you free to do drive by crap and then have zero evidence of wrong doing to be used against you, I have news for you. Those email notifications serve as a written record that includes your HN handle and can be forwarded to the mods.

On one occasion when someone said something especially nasty to me, I did forward it to the mods as an FYI. Of their own volition, they banned the account.

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